Shopping
by BakaUsagi49
Summary: Lavi hates chores. He particularly hated shopping. Until he came up with a way to make it fun for himself.
1. Prologue

Lavi groaned as he stood in front of the refrigerator. He hated that he had the longest list of chores to do in the house. Allen's was half the size of his and he always finished at noon. Kanda's list only had five or six things on it like always. Cause heaven forbid that Kanda have more than that. Lavi had a theory that it would disrupt what ever the other did all day. Lenalee had nothing to do. They all asked Komui about that at one point and Komui spouted nonsense about his precious Lenalee's hands. So they had agreed to leave it as it was. Lavi leaned closer and saw that it looked like Komui scribbled something on the bottom of his list. _Go shopping once every twelve weeks_. Lavi groaned again at that.

Lavi grinned when he formed an idea in his head. He hurried off to start on his chores, humming happily as he did them. Lavi glanced at the clock closes to him and saw that it was twelve noon. He grinned like a complete idiot and went off to Allen's room and knocked. Allen opened the door and saw Lavi standing there.

"Do you need help?" Allen asked warily.

"Nope!" Lavi answered. The grin still plastered to his face.

"Then what is it?"

"Komui wants me to going shopping once every twelve weeks. So I thought I'd go when ever you finished your chores." Allen had a feeling of where this was going, but didn't voice it.

"And?"

"And I want you to do what ever I haven't finished on my list. I'll give you ten bucks each week to do it," Lavi said holding up a crisp ten dollar bill in front of Allen's face. Allen's eyes lit up at the sight of money and the promise of it every week. He snatched the ten dollars out of Lavi's hand.

"Alright." Lavi gave him the peace sign and skipped off to the front door and grabbed his keys from the bowl. He happily went to his car, ready to put his funny idea into action.


	2. Week 1

Lavi still had the grin on his face as he walked into Wal-Mart. He grabbed a cart like he was suppose to and headed towards the toy department instead of the food department. Lavi walked down the isles until he found the item he wanted. A Dora the Explorer backpack. He grabbed it off the self and put it on. Lavi left the isle and as he walked past a mother and her two kids, said,

"We're going on an adventure!" The mother looked at him like he had lost his mind and quickly pulled her kids along.

"Mommy was he a pirate?" Lavi heard one of the kids ask. Lavi laughed quietly and continued to the food section. Lavi walked past the electronics and spot a group of teenagers walking that way. Lavi grinned until he saw an employee coming over to him.

"Sir, can I please have the to-" Lavi cut him off by holding out his hand like Dora with a firm look on his face.

"Swiper, no swiping!" The group of teenagers stopped and looked at the scene. On quickly pulled out a camera and started to film it. The employee looked at Lavi confused.

"Sir, may I please have the to-"

"Swiper, no swiping!" Lavi said again to the poor employee. Some how he still had a straight face and hadn't started to bust out laughing yet. He could hear the teenagers starting to laugh behind him. When the employee opened his mouth to ask again for the toy, Lavi took off running with his shopping cart yelling,

"SWIPER, NO SWIPING!" The employee stood there completely confused as what to do. The group of teenagers bust out laughing at the entire thing. Lavi quickly got the things that was actually on the shopping list and got rid of the backpack. He walked up to the registers and used the self check outs. He had a feeling that when Komui finally found out, he would regret letting Lavi do the shopping.


	3. Week 2

The second week of shopping came around and Lavi walked in. He had been given all sorts of looks last week, after he had gone shopping, when he couldn't stop laughing. Lenalee thought Komui gave him one of the elixirs he was working on. Lavi made his way to where the blankets were. He started to look through them until he found one he wanted. He would buy this one unlike last week with the backpack. He wouldn't have been able to explain why he had gotten it. Lavi quickly tied the blanket around his neck.

Lavi then took off running, the blanket flapping behind him and his arms out in front of him. He ignored all the looks and shouts he was getting. Instead, he just yelled,

"I'm Super Man!" Lavi ran around the store and down the isle. He would stop when he came to the item he needed from the list. He started to run again and stopped when he saw Daisaya coming towards him.

"Hi Daisaya," Lavi said.

"What are you doing?" Daisaya asked.

"Well I'm obviously shopping. What else would I be doing?"

"Let me quote something I saw on the internet. "Swiper, no swiping!"." Lavi laughed nervously.

"So you saw that…"

"Yup. It was hilarious! What possessed you to do it?"

"Well, I hate when I have to do the shopping. And Komui has me doing it for the next couple of weeks. So I decided to make it fun," Lavi answered him. Daisaya laughter and patted him on the arm.

"Nice! What's it this time?"

"Super Man," Lavi said pointing to the blanket. Daisaya laughed and started to walk off.

"Don't worry. I won't tell Kanda!"

"Thanks man!" Lavi yelled after him.


	4. Week 3

Lavi sat in the clothing racks waiting patiently for someone to start coming closer so he could scare them. He had got this idea near the end of last week when he had been snooping around in Kanda's room. He had heard the footsteps coming up the stairs and quickly hid in the closet. Kanda had come into his room and Lavi held his breath. He heard Kanda set mugen down on its stand and come towards the closet. Kanda opened the door and at first didn't notice Lavi. Lavi jumped out and glomped the other.

Lavi quickly came out of his thoughts as someone came closer. He grinned like an idiot. He waited one more second, before finally jumping out. The poor woman screamed bloody murder and took off running. Lavi quickly moved to another rack and waited again. It didn't take long for someone else to come. Lavi jumped out to scare the person and paled as white as death at seeing the person he was trying to scare was Sokalo. Sokalo glared at Lavi and he took off running himself.

"Get back here!" Sokalo yelled. Lavi ran as fast as he could out of Wal-Mart.

"I'm sorry!" He yelled as he made a mad dash for his car. He was definitely getting the groceries from another store that day.


	5. Week 4

He really needed to stop. He was either going to get hurt or possibly worse if Komui found out. He had cut it close last week with Sokalo. Lavi was just glad that he hadn't told Komui about what he did. Lavi was pushing the shopping cart that was half full of what they needed. He silently cursed how much Allen ate. He had been forced by the old panda and Komui to study at the library most of the week, so he hadn't got to come up with an idea on what to do.

Lavi looked down an isle when he heard a man and woman bickering over something stupid like toilet paper. Lavi grinned and put the buggy off to the side. He couldn't resist messing with the couple. He could tell that they had been together maybe a month or so. But that really didn't matter to him as he made himself start to cry. Lavi ran up to the man and slapped him across the face. The man held his face where he had been slapped and stared at Lavi confused.

"I thought you said you'd love me forever!" Lavi sobbed. The woman's eyes widened in shock and then quickly turned to anger. She turned to her boyfriend and started yelling at him. He turned his full attention to her and started to try and explain. Lavi took this chance to get away and finish his shopping.

"That was kind of funny," Lavi said to himself as he finished up with the shopping.

"Though I do feel bad for the guy," he added as an after thought.


	6. Week 5

Lavi had no clue why he was going to go through with this one, but he was. He had been talking with Daisaya about what he had done for the last few weeks. Daisaya had laughed at him when he told him what happened with Sokalo. Daisaya dared Lavi to do what he was about to do. He was defiantly getting the groceries from another store again this week. He walked into the store and just walked around for about maybe an hour or two.

Lavi son decided it time to put the plan into action and walked to the front of the store. If Komui didn't find out about this, then he would be extremely lucky. If he found out, well, he was totally dead. Lavi walked up to each register and somehow managed to get all the money out and put it in a pile on the floor. He started to roll in it and yelled,

"I'm rich!" Everyone was looking at him like he had lost his mind. The employees were mad as hell. Lavi spot security coming and he got up of the pile of money. He gave them a stern look when they tried to grab him.

"Hey! That's no way to treat your superior," Lavi said angrily. The two security guards looked at each other confused, then at Lavi. Lavi made a show of rolling his eye and crossing his arms.

"I just inherited Wal-Mart and I am now your superior." The security guards quickly apologized and Lavi went on a lecture of how they should treat their superiors. The two men kept apologizing to him. Lavi paled when he saw Sokalo yet again. Sokalo started to come towards Lavi, obviously still mad about last week. Lavi grinned sheepishly and took off running. Sokalo chasing after him.

"I said I was sorry!" Lavi yelled as he ran out of the store again.

"Get back here so I can pummel you!" Sokalo yelled. Lavi ran as fast as he could to his car and got in. He quickly drove off.

"Damn, does he go to Wal-Mart everyday?"


	7. Week 6

Lavi sighed annoyed as he came back the following week to Wal-Mart. Last week was his worst week so far. That same night, Komui had invited Sokalo and Klaud over to have dinner with them. Of course, to Kanda's horror, Tiedoll came too. Allen was happy that Cross hadn't come. Lavi had been in the living room when they knocked on the door. He opened the door and as soon as he and Sokalo saw each other, he took off running for the back door. Sokalo of course chasing him. Kanda was confused and Allen had found it funny. Lenalee had been the only one to help him.

Lavi had decided to try and not do anything this week as he walked up and down the isle grabbing what was needed. That was until he spotted the wet floor signs. He grinned as walked over to it. He quickly put it on the carpet instead of the floor. He then proceeded to walk around the store and do that to the rest of the signs. He laughed as people stared in confusion at the signs being on the carpets. He stopped when he thought he saw Sokalo and quickly went to the registers to check out. He defiantly didn't want another encounter with the man. He would admit that he was afraid of Komui and Sokalo.


	8. Week 7

Lavi couldn't resist this week's idea. He had never really gone over to the gun department of the store. He never really liked guns. But he felt like it was time to mess with the poor guy over in that department. He had already got all the groceries and paid for them. He had decided to do that first and take them to the car. Luckily, he didn't have to get anything that had to be frozen or refrigerated this week. He walked with his hands in his pockets towards the guns. He stood there staring at all the different guns. So far there was no employee there at the moment.

"Can I help you?" Lavi shook his head no for the moment. The clerk walked off for a minute to go do something real quick. Lavi was still there when the man came back. He looked up with a creepy grin on his face.

"Where are the anti-depressants?" Lavi suddenly asked. He wanted to laugh when he saw the man's eyes widened in horror. The man kept opening and closing his mouth trying to say something. Lavi dropped the grin when he smelt cigarettes, booze, and women. He turned his head and saw Cross standing there staring at him. Lavi smiled sheepishly at him and ran off. If there was one thing he knew, it was stay as far away from Cross as possible.


	9. Week 8

Lavi sighed as he walked around the store. He had somehow managed to get Cross not to say anything to Komui about what had happened at the store the week before, by giving him thirty bucks for liquor. Cross had quickly taken the money and had left to get drunk like always. That man was really easy to bribe. No wonder Allen had gotten that expensive as hell laptop from the man for his birthday. It made Lavi realize he needed to be more careful around Allen now. He let out another sigh as he grabbed Lenalee's feminine things and added them to the cart. He stopped to look at the nail polish, smirking. He picked up a neon pink one and his smirk grew larger. He would get it to use on Kanda later for ruining his chance at a very hot girl from their school.

Lavi walked off towards the food section finally and wondered what he could do to get back at Allen for helping Kanda. He was tempted with the idea to say that the store was out chocolate chip cookies, but knew that wouldn't work. Allen would just go to the store himself to see if it was true. He knew the fake bug in the sandwich wouldn't work again on him. Neither would the hot sauce. He grinned when he came up with an idea. He knew Allen's real crush was Lenalee. So making him kiss her would be his dream come true, minus Komui and his drills. He didn't wish Komui on him, but he would make Allen kiss Kanda. That boy would never back down from a dare. Lavi laughed quietly to himself as he walked down the isles. He wasn't really paying much attention, so when a voice came over the intercom system, He dropped to the floor in a fetal position, hands over his ears and started screaming,

"No! No! Not the voices again! I thought they were gone!" People stopped and looked at him. A few muttered with each other. A mother quickly dragged her kid away say don't look at that man. Others shook their heads at him. Lavi got up after two minutes and looked around. He grinned nervously and grabbed the buggy and quickly walked off. He had honestly not planed to do that one till the last week of shopping he had to do, but oh well. He had been to busy thinking of his revenge plan to really remember what he was going to do that week. He finished gathering the things he needed. As he walked past people, he heard them muttering about him. He almost laughed when he heard a kid, which he recognized from his first week of shopping, say to his mother,

"Mommy look. It's that pirate man." The mother quickly dragged off her kid saying something about how they don't associate with people like him. Lavi rolled his eye at that, but went to the check outs and paid for everything. He was really curious as to why he had yet to be kicked out of the store or taken away by the police yet as he thought of everything he had done so far. He shrugged it off and left the store to take everything home so he could begin his revenge on Kanda and Allen.


	10. Week 9

Lavi didn't have to go shopping this week. But he still came to the store anyway. He wanted to continue what he had started. And plus he wanted to buy some bright pink ribbon to put in Kanda's hair. He grinned as he looked at all the ribbons. His prank on Kanda and Allen the week before was hilarious. He had somehow managed to beat Allen at poker for once. Allen's eyes had bugged out when Lavi had dared him to kiss the moody samurai. He told Allen that he couldn't back out of it no matter what. So Allen had sucked it up and kissed Kanda. Lavi nearly died from the laughing fit he had at watching Kanda chase Allen all around the house, yard, and street with his favorite sword, mugen. He had waited till later that same evening for Kanda to go to sleep before sneaking into the other's room. He quietly painted Kanda's finger nails and toe nails. Oh was Kanda pissed when he woke the next day.

Poor Allen was blamed for it and chased by Kanda and his sword again. Lavi had fallen off the couch from laughter, Komui was trying not to laugh, and Lenalee had just frowned at them. Lavi wasn't done messing with them just yet. He grabbed the ribbon he wanted. He was going to use it on both Allen and Kanda. He was sure how just yet. But he would. Lavi then proceeded to go look for a blanket to wrap around his shoulders again. He eventually found an all black one to use. He draped it around his shoulders and took off running through out the store. Every time he saw a person that was alone, he yelled.

"….I'm Batman. Come Robin – to the bat cave!" A few of them looked at him like he had broken out of a home for the insane. Others just laughed or played along. The ones that played along with him had actually startled him slightly, but he didn't mind. Lavi eventually stopped when he saw Sokalo up ahead. He quickly tossed the blanket and ribbon into a random self and ran when Sokalo spotted him.

"Just let it go!" Lavi yelled as he took off running for the closest exit. Sokalo just chased him until Lavi was half way to his car.


	11. Week 10

Lavi had long learned to buy his groceries at a different store. Komui had made him go back to the store last week to buy more band aids after Kanda beat Allen up… again. Lavi wasn't going to play anymore pranks on the other two boys anytime soon. Lenalee had found out that his was him pulling the pranks on the other two and threatened to tell Kanda and Allen that it was his doing if he pulled another prank on them. He shuddered at the thought of what the two would do to him if they found out. He pushed the horrible images out of his mind. He walked over to where a few mannequins were at and stood there in the same pose.

Lavi was glad that his training with Bookman had taught him how to be very patient. And he would need it to pull this one off. Lavi waited there, standing as still as possible. Everyone just walked past him, not really paying much attention to him. Lavi silently counted the number of people that had walked past, not bothering to come look closer. So far he had counted close to ninety people. Lavi had a feeling that it was close to three o' clock. He knew he would have to leave shortly if no one came up to him soon.

Lavi was about to leave when someone finally came up to him to look at the outfit he was wearing. He inwardly smirked. Lavi jumped and screamed. Scaring the poor person. He wanted to laugh, but that ended quickly when they started to beat him with their purse. Lavi covered his head as he was hit repeatedly until the woman decided to walk off. Lavi rubbed his abused arms and head. He grumbled something about violent women as he left the store. He didn't feel like trying to scare someone else. He didn't want to go home and explain why he had bruises on him.


	12. Week 11

This week Lavi knew that if Kanda, Allen, or Lenalee were with him, they would definitely think he lost his mind. Though Kanda already believed that he had no mind, but whatever. Lavi walked over to the toy department to look for a toy wand. He looked up and down the isles for a few minutes before finding one. He picked up the sparkling, pink wand and grinned. He was really glad that they weren't there with him.

Lavi took off running throughout the entire store, waving the wand around as he did. Everyone looked at him like he'd completely lost it. Which wasn't something new to him. He always mad people think that. Especially his teachers at school. Lavi just grinned like an idiot as he ran around and yelled,

"I'm a princess!" Some of the people ignored him. Some just stared at him horrified. And others laughed at him. Lavi could care less what they thought about him. He was having fun. Lavi ran around shouting _'I'm a princess'_ until he finally got tired of it. Lavi soon walked back to the toy department and put the wand back. Lavi pouted slightly as he left the store. He was slightly sad that next week was his last week to do the shopping. But he wasn't all that sad either. He really could care less about doing the shopping.


	13. Week 12

Lavi was quietly hiding in the clothing racks again. But this time he was going to jump out and scare people like the last time. Instead he was going to talk whenever someone looked through the clothes. It didn't take long for someone to come to the rack he was hiding in and start looking at the clothes. Lavi grinned.

"The fat man wants your soul." The woman looked at the shirt she was holding, slightly frightened.

"W-What?"

"A fat man will steal your soul tonight." The woman looked around to see if anyone was near her saying it, but saw that no one was paying attention. Lavi quietly laughed as the woman put the shirt back and left quickly. Another person came over a few minutes later to look at the clothes

"The cat stalks you during the day." The woman looked at the shirt like it bit her.

"The dog barks at noon." The woman put the shirt back and picked a different shirt.

"The cake is a lie." The woman put the shirt back and walked off annoyed. Lavi chuckled quietly as he did this three more times. Lavi soon got up out of the rack grinning. He laughed as he left the store. He wasn't paying attention as he bumped into someone outside the store.

"What's so funny Lavi?" Lavi froze upon hearing the voice. He looked up to see Komui standing there. Lavi smiled nervously at the older man.

"N-Nothing Komui…" Lavi answered.

"Where are the groceries at then?" Komui asked.

"In the car already." Komui looked at him suspiciously.

"I'll get the drill."

"I was playing pranks in the store all twelve weeks. But the groceries are in the car," Lavi answered looking down. Komui crossed his arms and frowned.

"Go home and put them away and sit on the couch to wait what punishment I will give you."

"Yes sir," Lavi answered. He left going to his car. He had really hoped he wouldn't have gotten caught. To late for that.


End file.
